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separation

Using a family mediator can help couples through a separation

But my ex won’t……..

One of the things you hear as a mediator is something that sounds like one of the following: My ex won’t come to mediation My ex won’t co-operate My ex isn’t listening to me I don’t think he/she/they will……… We don’t communicate We can’t communicate Is that you? From a mediator’s perspective there can be a multitude of reasons for this and many of them are not permanent but temporary issues.  Since it’s something that crops up a lot it…

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Online Child Inclusive Mediation (a conversation)

This blog started after a conversation between Louisa Whitney and Jo O’Sullivan and was borne out of a simple conversation about something that is an underused tool in resolving issues between parents.  Both Jo and myself are passionate about minimising the effects on children of their parents’ separation, and about giving them a voice in this process wherever possible.  If you’d like more information about our Child Inclusive Mediation services than please have a look at the page.  You can…

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Compromise: But which one?

If you haven’t seen the blog about Pushing your Buttons then I recommend you have a look as it helps to understand what can be the most difficult part of resolving issues for many separating couples.  From my perspective as a family mediator two of the most common barriers I see to resolving issues are the fact that the couple pushes each other’s buttons so much they can’t get near constructive discussions about what options could look like; and secondly…

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Pushing your buttons

If you follow me on social media then you might have seen me talking a lot lately about what might be pushing your buttons.  This is for a number of reasons: I believe it is the nub of many disputes to understand and unpick this. I think given the current situation with coronavirus buttons are being pressed a lot at the moment.  Partly because we are on edge anyway, but also because if you’re living in the same house as…

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Steadying yourself when you wobble during separation and divorce

   Steadying yourself when you wobble during separation and divorce   A guest blog by Danielle Barbereau (BA, MA, MAC) Professional coach, providing emotional support to clients during divorce and separation Mob: 07860 801693 | Web: www.danielleb.co.uk | Twitter: @CoachingDB   The coronavirus lockdown, a time of great uncertainty, may lead us to re-evaluate our lives: how we live and work, our values, and of course our relationships. Now is probably not the best time to make major decisions on…

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Child Inclusive Mediation (a blog)

When I first used to ask clients contacting me for the first time if they knew what mediation was about then there was often a “not really”. Now I find clients making contact are aware of what mediation is, and have either made an independent decision that it is the right way forward for them, or have had a lawyer direct them towards mediation.  Yet there is still not much known about child inclusive mediation which can be such a…

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Self-isolating in a separation (guidance)

Separation: couples self isolating in the same house Well now here is a post that I didn’t think I would ever type.  Even a few weeks ago could we have imagined the fact that large parts of the world would be not able to leave their houses?  It is a challenging situation for many:  concerns about the health implications; worries about reduced income or businesses going under.  I appreciate all of that.  One of my biggest concerns is for couples…

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Should we stay together for the kids?

I recently came across a really interesting article based on a survey looking at parents staying together for the sake of their children The survey was called out by Directline.  Some parts of this survey really jumped out at me and I wanted to add some thoughts on them:   I can see the generational difference in how long parents stayed together but even amongst younger parents it was still 3 years.  Often in family mediation one of the things…

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What can you talk about in mediation?

Recently I added a blog post aimed at giving more information to those thinking about mediation and collating various pieces of information that are contained across the extensive range of blogs on the LKW Family Mediation website This got me thinking about whether those coming into mediation, or going through a separation generally, really understand the full range of things that can be talked about in mediation.  So the list below is of conversations that have been facilitated by me…

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Thinking about mediation?

I was asked a question the other day about family mediation and it occurred to me that I wasn’t sure there was a blog post with the information in.  I’m quite sure there is a wealth of information on this topic across the blog but I felt it might be helpful to have it in one place.  The question focused on two things: Do you have to be on the same page to try family mediation; and What do you…

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