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Considering Separation or Divorce?

Considering separation or divorce? This is a guest blog by Karen Marshall from Love Coaching You.  There is a link to Louisa and Karen’t joint facebook live talking about this further down the page.  Karen can be found via the following links: LoveCoachingYou.com Twitter@LoveCoachingYou FB@LoveCoachingYou Considering separation or divorce is an emotive question and will mean something different to everyone especially if you have experienced heartache and relationship breakdown before? It’s also one of the hardest decisions you will make.…

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Should we stay together for the kids?

This is a topic that comes up in family mediation from time to time. We sometimes see a couple who recognise that their relationship is not working well and one has taken the decision to end it but the other felt they should have stayed together until the children left home so as not to ‘break up the family’. This is such a huge decision and one no one takes lightly. So how can you make this decision and is…

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What is a good divorce?

This is a particularly leading question for some of the people that come to us for family mediation. How on earth can a divorce ever be good we can hear people saying. Well sometimes both parties accept that the relationship has reached the end of the road and that it needs to end and they want to do it as amicably as possible in order to make life after separation characterised by a positive and respectful relationship. This is of…

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Do you need a lawyer when you separate?

This is a question that we get asked a lot by clients that have come directly to family mediation rather than seeking advice from a lawyer first. Often both clients have come to the conclusion that their relationship has reached the end of the road at the same time. They want to maintain an amicable relationship and they have some idea of the arrangements they’d like to put in place with regard to money, or their children, or both. They…

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They didn’t see the children that much anyway……….

Lots of the blog posts we put up come from conversations with clients or things we see a lot in family mediation.  We are always of the view that if one separating couple is struggling with someone then another separating couple may well be too and it would be helpful to put some guidance and support out there to help those coping with divorce and life after separation.  One of the things that we have seen quite a bit of…

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What’s new in 2019?

From the moment I set up LKW Family Mediation I have had an almost constant stream of ideas for things that would benefit clients and help with life after separation and coping with divorce.  I also wanted to assist other professionals to help clients too, and to understand more about family mediation.  The difficulty has always been having enough time to put together the structure for these ideas.  There is, after all, only one of me!  I have learnt during…

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Do you need therapy when you separate?

Talking about mental health issues is something that has been in the news a lot lately and this is important to help to reduce the stigma surrounding emotional and brain chemistry problems.  In mediation meetings we always like to know whether anyone has had counselling, whether they found it helpful, and whether they are open to trying this in the future.  If a couple are really stuck in mediation then some form of therapy can be really useful in helping…

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Why do people end up in court?

The family justice system is struggling with the number of people using the court system, a lack of judges, the demands on support services like CAFCASS and the unreasonable demands that many of those using the system have.  This means that by the time you have got to the first hearing in your application you could often have had at least two mediation meetings, or made a significant start on another dispute resolution process.  Couple this with the fact that…

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Arrangements for Children: Review and take stock

We have recently been doing a series of blogs focusing on how you can minimise the effects of your separation on your children.  Tip number 5 was to review the arrangements that you have made.  We suggest that you check in with each other regularly (say every 3 to 6 months depending on how long you think the arrangements need to run before you know if they’re working or not).  You can then talk about what you think is working…

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Stopping things turning nasty

When you separate from a partner there can be a whole myriad of emotions.  Anger, resentment and fear are common and it is sometimes from a place seeped with these emotions that each party reacts.  When you react from a place of anger or fear you can often be seen as being aggressive or threatening.  A defensive reaction is often one designed to launch a preemptive attack and to wound before you are wound-ed.  Our brains are complicated machines but…

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