In this third blog in the series talking about communication we’re talking about having the right tools to enable good and constructive communication to take place. We have already blogged about tips for good listening which can be a game changer in improving your communication skills, as well as how being at different points in the recovery process can impact… Read More »
In our second blog focusing on communication problems we’re talking about listening. You may think you know what listening is, but read on and let us know if anything surprises you. Last week we explained how communication can be challenging when a couple are at very different points in the healing or grieving process. To watch the video discussing this… Read More »
In a new series of blogs we’re turning our focus to communication. We’re very aware that this is something that can be challenging for couples going through a separation. When asked what the issues are that they’d most like to resolve many couples say communication. This is often borne from a place of wanting to be able to talk about… Read More »
This is the last in our series of blogs looking at family mediation. We’ve talked about what happens in family mediation, what the benefits are, and how children can have their say in the family mediation process. If you haven’t already and you’re interested in family mediation then we’d strongly suggest checking out those blogs. To watch the live… Read More »
In this third blog in our series talking about family mediation we’re looking at children and how they can have their say in the mediation process. We have already talked about what happens in family mediation and what the main benefits are so please check out those blogs if you haven’t already. When a couple separate and are working out… Read More »
In our second blog focusing on family mediation we’re talking about the main benefits of using family mediation to resolve issues that crop up when a couple separate. Last week we explained more about what happens in family mediation. Here are our 5 main benefits of using family mediation to resolve issues arising from your separation: 1. It gives you… Read More »
In a new series of blogs we’re turning our focus to family mediation. This is something we are experts in so it makes sense to share our knowledge. We have seen a growing understanding and knowledge of family mediation amongst separating couples in recent years but there can still be some misunderstandings about what happens so this new series of… Read More »
This is the last in our series of blogs looking at arranging summer holidays. In this series we’ve talked about why it’s important to make arrangements early, what to do if you’ve reached an impasse and what to do if you feel like you can’t face ever negotiating holidays with your ex again. In this last blog we’re doing a… Read More »
In this series of blogs we’ve been talking about arranging the summer holidays. We’ve talked about why it’s important to start the process early on, and we’ve talked about what to do when you’ve hit an impasse and can’t agree. In this blog we’re talking about not just not being able to agree but about being in a situation where… Read More »
In our second blog focusing on arranging summer holidays we’re talking about what happens if you can’t agree. This follows on from our blog last week talking about why you should start making arrangements now. Part of our reason for suggesting the importance of making arrangements early is so you can give yourself enough time to deal with a potential… Read More »
In our second blog focusing on arranging summer holidays we’re talking about what happens if you can’t agree. This follows on from our blog last week talking about why you should start making arrangements now. Part of our reason for suggesting the importance of making arrangements early is so you can give yourself enough time to deal with a potential impasse if you’re not able to agree on arrangements.
If you find that you and your ex partner are stuck with regard to arrangements and you can’t seem to find a way forward then consider the following ideas:
1. Take a break from discussions to calm down and come back to things at a later point. You may each feel differently and find that a way forward presents itself.
2. Consider a compromise with a change for how you will manage things next year or next holiday. We find that offering a compromise can often bring about a spirit of reciprocity which means that whilst things might not have worked out exactly like you’d hoped this time, you know that next time they will work out better for you.
3. Why not find a family mediator close to you (via Resolution’s website or the family mediation council’s website). Family mediators facilitate discussions between separated parents and help ensure that you can each hear the other. Understanding each other’s points of view and priorities can be really powerful in finding a solution together. Family Mediation is usually the quickest way of resolving any disputes over the holidays.
4. If you are really stuck and you can’t seem to find a way forward that you can both live with then consider arbitration. Arbitration is similar to using the court process in that a third party makes a decision for you about the way forward but it is a much quicker process which can be tailored to your individual situation. It’s available for issues relating to children and can be a much better solution for resolving issues about school holidays. In circumstances where you will likely wait 8 to 12 weeks for a preliminary court hearing about issues relating to children this is only going to help you with summer holidays if you have applied very early on. An arbitrator will be able to make a decision within 6 weeks (or possibly even less) and ensure each party has a chance to explain how they feel. For more information on arbitrators you can visit the website of family arbitrators in the UK.
5. If this is a common occurrence then you might want to think about whether other support might help you to work better together as co-parents. There is a variety of help available to help separated parents to deal with issues that are preventing them from successfully co-parenting. We’ll be discussing this in another blog in this series in more depth.
We hope that these tips will help you to move forward if you feel you and your ex partner have got stuck making arrangements for the holidays. Stay tuned to this series of blogs being published every Monday as we’ll be covering other aspects of organizing summer holidays in more depth. If you’d like to get these blogs directly into your inbox then join our free mailing list. We also have a separate mailing list for professionals working with separating couples.
To watch the Facebook Live discussing this blog in more depth click on the video below: