A simple way to think about co-parenting

Posted by Louisa on 11 March 2019 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation , Video

This video was put together by Louisa Whitney from LKW Family Mediation and Una Archer, a psychologist, from Parenting after Separation.


Parenting after separation can feel very busy. You may find yourself carrying more responsibility for your child, whilst learning to navigate the co-parenting relationship.


Una and I put our heads together to hopefully help you simplify things a bit, let go of things that are not essential and make more space for what is important for you. In the video below we talk about:


  • Four common influences on co-parents. As you listen about those four common influences we invite to reflect on what is like for you. Are you comfortable with how things are or do you feel it could be better?
  • A way to come back to the present moment and focus on what your child needs from you right now
  • What help is available if you’re finding co-parenting challenging


Una Archer is a psychologist who helps separated parents to soften the impact of the separation on their children and to resolve any emotional or behaviour issues that might have cropped up along the way. She provides one-to-one consultations to parents and families, hosts workshops for parents and professionals working with separated parents and runs termly parenting course Parenting More Comfortably.


Use this timeline if you want to come back to the specific part of the recording:

0:00 Introductions

3:00 Co-parenting foundation

4:35 Why is it important to know the common sources of pressure for co-parents?

6:20 Four common influences on co-parents that may be taking up your time and headspace, when you could be present with your children:

  • 6:20 Your relationship with your own parents
  • 9:30 Your relationship with the other parent
  • 13:40 Your family and friends
  • 16:30 What you see and hear in the media

21:00 A way to come back to the present moment and focus on what your child needs from you right now

  • 24:10 Your commitment to being secure base for your child
  • 25:40 Supporting your child’s exploration
  • 27:00 Meeting your child’s need for comfort
  • 28:00 Support for you

30:30 Translating the theory into day-to-day parenting:

  • 30:40 How can I be the secure base for my child?
  • 34:20 Taking stock of your co-parenting resources
  • 37:20 How can I support the other parent to be the secure base?
  • 42:40 Friends and family – your village
  • 45:20 Filtering the messages that come from media

46:40 What help is available if you’re finding co-parenting challenging

  • 47:50 How does mediation help?
  • 49:00 Support to nurture secure relationship with your child


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