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Leave your emotions at the door?

Posted by Louisa on 16 November 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

If  you have any experience of having solicitors resolve a separation with any degree of acrimony then you might be familiar with the following scenario:   Things are ticking along and you are both trying your hardest to keep your head above water in every day life, to manage the process of resolving matters and to look after your children… Read More »

What’s holding you back?

Posted by Louisa on 21 September 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

The benefits of mediation are huge.  That’s not to say that it is easy.  Often the things that we are most proud of are the hardest to achieve.  Sometimes people are held back from trying, or committing, to mediation.  In this blog we have tried to focus on the most common reasons why people say mediation isn’t for them.  We… Read More »

Feeling the fear

Posted by Louisa on 15 June 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

When you first learn about mediation it can seem a scary option.  Being in the same room as a partner you have separated from can be the last thing you feel like doing.  Emotions can be very raw and you can wonder how you will contain all the feelings that are bubbling up within you.  It can also be difficult… Read More »

Are you brave enough to decide your future?

Posted by Louisa on 29 April 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

When you begin the process of mediation you may feel apprehensive and anxious.  You may wonder how compromise can ever be possible with someone who simply refuses to compromise.  You may wish to avoid taking directly because you feel hurt, rejected and downright angry.  It’s natural to feel like you want to run for cover rather than talking directly.  … Read More »

Why is #mediationhour important?

Posted by Louisa on 15 April 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

Louisa Whitney, who started LKW Family Mediation in 2013, has recently been taking part in a mediation hour on twitter.  The purpose of this is to allow people to ask questions about mediation.  Why is this important?  There are three main reasons:   1.  Despite government and other advertising campaigns not enough people are aware that mediation is available to… Read More »

Debunking the myths: Summarising

Posted by Louisa on 02 March 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

In this next blog in our series looking at what happens in mediation, we are talking about summarising.  Often when a party has expressed a view the mediator will summarise what they have said.  The purpose of this repetition is two fold.  Firstly, it enables the mediator to check that they have understood correctly what has been expressed.  Secondly, it… Read More »

Debunking the myths: Exploring Options

Posted by Louisa on 23 February 2015 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

There is still some mystery surrounding mediation, both amongst people who might attend mediation, and amongst some solicitors who refer clients to mediation.  In the first of a series of blogs examining what happens in mediation we are looking today at exploring options.   When somebody first makes an enquiry about mediation they may have some idea that mediation is… Read More »

Two sides of the same thing

Posted by Louisa on 06 November 2014 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

When couples embark upon mediation they are ultimately looking for a resolution.  They want to be able to find a set of arrangements that will enable each of them to move on.  It sounds like a fairly simple objective when you put it like that.  However, even deciding on the first thing to talk about, and what the priorities are… Read More »

How do I get started in mediation?

Posted by Louisa on 07 October 2014 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

Many people may first decide to seek out a mediator because their solicitor has suggested mediation.  Or they may have read about mediation online, or been recommended to it by a friend.  They may have a general idea about what mediation involves.  For many people the first question is how do I get into mediation, or how do we start… Read More »

Using other experts in mediation

Posted by Louisa on 30 June 2014 in categories: Blog , Family Mediation

A separation or a divorce is never just a legal or a financial process.  It is an emotional and personal journey that has been often likened to a bereavement.  When you start in mediation the mediator will explain that other experts may be useful to empower and motivate you to find your tailor made resolution.  The experts can be people… Read More »

A separation or a divorce is never just a legal or a financial process.  It is an emotional and personal journey that has been often likened to a bereavement.  When you start in mediation the mediator will explain that other experts may be useful to empower and motivate you to find your tailor made resolution.  The experts can be people you make separate appointments to see, they can be people that will provide further reports, or they can co-mediate with the mediator – that is to say that the expert will run the mediation sessions with your mediator.

 

Sometimes it may be difficult to make progress in mediation because one person (or both people) has not been able to come to terms with the breakdown of the relationship.  In other cases the parties in mediation may replay conflict patterns that took place in the marriage, making it difficult to concentrate on the issues that need to be discussed.

 

In this situation it may be helpful for the parties (either jointly or separately) to visit a family consultant or counsellor.  This may also help them to focus in on the emotional needs of their children to ensure that they are being met.  By understanding conflict patterns and by recognising behaviours this can help the parties to then break the cycle they find themselves caught up in.  If discussions always seem to end in arguments then by changing patterns of  behaviour, people can change the end results of the discussions.

 

It may also be useful to use financial experts.  There may be investment advice that will assist the parties, or pensions may be a significant issue.  Where pensions are likely to be significant, it may be helpful to have a report that provides further information about the pensions – or to have further advice on those pensions.

 

The needs of people going through a separation are often complex and rarely will one expert be able to help the parties meet all their needs.  The mediator can therefore act as a GP i.e the first port of call bringing in other experts to help the parties move forward at each stage.

 

LKW Family Mediation is currently looking at fixed packages including different experts to simplify the costs, and to ensure that clients are getting the best value for money.   We will provide more information on the new costs packages as soon as they are available.

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